I spent the last 2 weeks without having my son here. I was able to refocus and get things done. But now that he is home it's a new game all over again. I am nearing my wit's end in some respects. I am wanting to move from here so bad and just go away to like Montana or somewhere where I can start all over and make a life for me.
I spent my life living in the shadow of my sister. A perfect child to my parents. Able to serve in the military, married t a military man and well educated. Where I am the outcast, but just as smart as she is, only in a different way. My parents never cared that I could never serve. It was my dream, the dream was shattered.
Now I want away from here. My parents are trying to take Dante away from me, and I won't let it happen. That is why I want to move so bad. I didn't want to be in Oregon when I moved here all those years ago. Now I want out. Just to rebuild my life and the life of my family. That is what is important to me.
Life deals us hard times once in a while. And my life has been difficult since I came to Fossil. Noone here wants to trust me or give me a chance to prove myself. I can get work, but it doesn't pay all too good. I may make up to 11.00 an hour. That's if I'm lucky. It's time to get things together and make a change. I need a change and so does my family.
I try to provide a life for my family, but it is very difficult where I live. The market for jobs is non-existent. We get by with what little money we do get per month. And that equals about 1600.00. Most of that goes to bills and other things that are required. I will write more later